Church Parking Solutions

My parents live in a city that is a tourist mecca, and their downtown church struggles to offer parking for people who want to attend worship on Sunday mornings.  Left unattended, the hard-to-come-by parking spaces will fill up with cars from all over the country driven by people more interested in souvenir t-shirts than spiritual matters.  The last time I visited, a tram full of tourists had to wait as I helped my father across the street.  The church has resorted to a combination of parking stickers that identify members, parking lot attendants and a sign that spells out their towing policy.

More recently, one of my pastors got a call from someone who tried to visit, but gave up after finding that all of the handicapped spaces were full.  We suspect that some were filled by senior adults stretching the definition of “handicapped,” but weren’t quite sure how to address it gracefully.  Tongue-in-cheek, we kicked around ideas like slashing tires and spray-painting threatening messages on windshields (softened, of course, by leaving tracts on windshields).  Practically, we wondered if a message like, “Thank you for coming; please remember to prominently display your handicapped parking permit so that we can honor our guests with special needs” would do the trick.

Enter the “parking solutions” catalog I received in the mail today.  It offers 30 pages of products designed to help churches control problem parking.  They range from signs that read “Thou Shalt Not Park Here” to bright red stickers, designed to be pasted onto the offenders window, that say, “VIOLATION | THIS VEHICLE IS PARKED ILLEGALLY AND IS SUBJECT TO TOWING AND IMPOUNDMENT | YOUR LICENSE NUMBER WAS RECORDED”.   The 5 x 8 stickers are available with “strong adhesive when you want them removed only with a scraper or with mild adhesive for easier removal.”  (I assume you check “Prophet” or “Grace” when you place your order.)

I didn’t find any WWJP bracelets.

I understand from personal experience the difficulty that thoughtless drivers cause for others, and the desire to make them “do right.”  I prefer to see churches use attendants instead of signs.  Like email, a sign, no matter how graciously worded, lacks the nuance that a smiling face can bring to challenging words.